When I’m mad, I clean!
When I am really, really mad, I clean. I clean more than usual! Things that don’t need cleaning because they are already clean!
When I am really well and truly pissed off, I clean. I strip things that don’t need stripping, I clean like a mad woman.
We have just come through a three day weekend, Monday being a Public Holiday as it was Eid. I was mad for three days. My apartment is spotless.
The truth is that I have been mad and unsettled for a while. With one thing and another, the last few weeks have been somewhat fraught. I haven’t divulged much to anyone and that is how it will stay because things will improve, I will get over the drama and with God’s grace live to tell the tale.
Apparently I am very good at listening, giving advice and making the right soothing noises when necessary. My daughter does not know how both she and I can stand in a supermarket line (not together) and before we reach the check out, have heard the life story of the person standing behind us! In my case it could be that I am coming from a training day and have forgotten to take off my badge which gives my name and my organization. I suppose some people gravitate towards people wearing a tell tale sign of anything remotely religious although it happens when I am sans badge as well. I don’t know what my daughter’s excuse is. Maybe it’s because she’s stunning and people (especially men!) gravitate towards her and spill the beans thinking that if they give her a sob story, she’ll feel sorry for them and end up on a date. Fat chance!
I digress.
I am mad. I am upset. I am bordering on the edge. If I were to tell all my woes some of the responses I would get from friends would be much the same as those I’d give them were they in my shoes. That doesn’t mean to say that when I sympathize I do it lightly. I don’t. I mean everything I say as I am sure anyone giving me advice in this time of stress, would. We all go through difficult times. Difficult times however, in most cases, don’t last forever. To make life better for the sufferer we cluck, say the right words at the right times, dry the tears, offer tea and sympathy, wine and sympathy, tell them they need ‘me’ time and even sometimes, say something that the injured party does not want to hear.
Presently I am tired, overwhelmed and I’m beginning to feel bolshie. I want answers now.
I don’t want to hear that things will eventually get better, that I have no need to worry over my husband’s health (deal with the problem – you’re the doctor!), that I don’t need to worry because it seems my husband is having difficulty dealing with the diagnosis, that the specialist cannot see him for another three weeks, that my children will be fine, that the family business is suffering dreadfully as a result of this so called global financial crisis, that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle, offer it up, put it in God’s hands, that if you are patient it will be better in a few weeks, that the air conditioning engineer cannot come until Tuesday afternoon and we may have to replace the condenser unit, that we are bathing in 100 plus degrees with no breeze, that the washing machine isn’t, that there are people out there far worse off than I am, that we have been through far worse and survived to see another day blah...blah.......blah.............
Most of all I definitely do not want to hear that when life deals you lemons, make lemonade.
Pass me a bunch of grapes.
Without wishing to sound ungrateful thank you very much, I don’t want lemonade!
I want champagne!
Ah, Bee, what can I say. It sounds like things are really tough right now. I'm with you, though. All those platitudes don't quite cut it when you are in the middle of a swamp full of alligators. I think it's all the more important to give yourself small treats and respite from your worries -- like that champagne. Even if you have nothing to celebrate, some bubbles tickling the nose could lighten the mood a little. Hang in there, girl.
ReplyDeleteoh my goodness...it is raining in your house...that's my saying when everything is going wrong.
ReplyDeletefor me, i have decided that how i respond to adversity (whatever it is) if like Joseph whose own brothers sold him into slavery i get better instead of bitter, it makes God happy. and also others see me responding in joy rather than bitterness it makes them feel strenghtened as well.
God bless you and I will send up little prayers for you.
I raise my glass .. we clink glasses.... we celebrate the day. We stay in touch....after the darkness....we will laugh again. No lemonade here either. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what it is like in the country you live in but my sister the nurse says that if the test results are really bad there will be an ambulance waiting in the driveway when you get home.
ReplyDeleteAn appointment three weeks away is really good news. Men always have trouble dealing with the diagnosis. My ex-husband (the one with only half a foot now) is not talking to his wife and so he calls me. Seems he is having pains in the knee on the same leg. Could be just that he is walking different. Or they could have not got all that fatal infection.
Has he gone to see a doctor to get an mri? NO! But like my sister says when I shared this: There will be less to bury.
Actually the advice I always hate is the one about God not giving us more than we can handle. I always want to shove that somewhere
Bee, I think you should go out and buy a bottle of champagne (sell the children if you have to!) and go on a picnic and forget everything and drink the champagne with some pate and cheese and crackers. Forget everything, laugh, enjoy, just do it.
ReplyDeleteLemons just don't fit the bill in these situations. Go for the fruit of the grape!
ReplyDeleteBee, I know how you msut feel. Sorry.
ReplyDeleteWell I'm partial to Tattinger myself, but there we are ...
ReplyDeleteI agree wholeheartedly with you ... platitudes are like use Band Aids - they NEVER do what they are supposed to. You have my full permission to run screaming through the streets until someone gives you an answer that bloody well makes sense for every one of your questions. I also have a few questions that I would want answered ... but THAT is another story!!!
I got your back sister-mama-girl!!!
Thank you all so much for your great advice and apart from laughter, bubbles that tickle your nose when you raise the glass, are the best medicine!
ReplyDelete