Saturday, November 26, 2022

It's Been a Long, Long Time

Yes, it's been a long, long time. I started blogging many years ago. It was virtually a daily ritual which I made time for regardless of what was happening in my life. But times change. A great deal of water under the bridge since those days. Time doesn't seem to allow these days, for the pleasure of blogging, interacting with followers and friends and I miss that. It's not that I have a mad social life. Most of my time is taken up with work as at pushing seventy six, I am working full time in a position whereby a great deal of thought and dedicaion is needed. I am not commplaining as I do love my job. One of the challenges is that working from home most of the time, one tends to work all hours leaving little time for other things that take time and dedication. My husband's death in 2016 and Covid 19 were the 'killers' that changed my life. At first I loved working from home but in 2020, completely out of the blue, I had a severe meltdown. Feelings of gloom, panic attacks, dark thoughts and tears. Eventaully I was diagnosed, as I suspected with depression and severe anxiety. Everything was an effort, including the job I loved but I managed somehow to plod on. What a disaster! Happily two years on, I have it under control most of the time. Not always, but most of the time. Prescribed medication certainly helps. So I have decided today that when my backlog of work has been completed, I will make time for blogging and interacting more with friends on social media the latter having become a victim of my state of mind. Here's to attempting to go back to something near what it was, and happier days. Take care out there!

Tuesday, November 2, 2021

All Souls and a Birthday 2021

 Today, the 2nd November is All Souls' Day. It's also my husband's birthday and he has been part of that group for 12 days short of five years.  For years I wrote about All Souls followed by a normally humorous tagline which read that it was also my husband's birthday adding what might or might not be for dinner!  

All Souls' is a Catholic Day of Remembrance for friends and loved ones who have passed away.  On this day, during Requiem Masses,  the Office of the Dead is recited.


The theological basis for the Feast is the belief that those souls which have left the body not perfectly cleansed or have not fully atoned for past sins, cannot yet see God.  According to some tradition, those left on earth can apparently help these souls on their journey from Purgatory by praying for them, offering Masses, and giving alms.

Today and this evening many families will go to their family plots and graves, gather around, and even take picnic baskets to celebrate those who have gone before them.  Tonight every grave will be lit up by candles so that the cemetery/graveyard will just for one night of the year, be bathed in candlelight.    I would like to think that visitors would also light a candle on graves of the forgotten ones.  In many instances, those graves are not forgotten. It's just that for various reasons not everyone can visit.  My father lies over 4,000 miles away and there's no way I could fly to be at his side tonight. But I can and will light candles for both he and Mummy, and  Richard.

I like the customs and traditions of some European countries where candles are burning continuously  (24/7)  as one did on my Austrian grandmother's grave.  Sadly there is no one left there to look after it but I do know that the graveyard keepers when they know there is no family left, do keep the candles lit.  In some of those countries, there is a photograph of the deceased together with an eternal flame.

The origins of this day have been attributed to various religious orders.  Some say the Cluny Order (the nuns still teach here in Trinidad), others the Benedictine monks who are also very much here, living in the monastery on Mount St Benedict, a major landmark in this country.

                                     The Benedictine Monastery, Mt St Benedict, Trinidad 

Whoever it was, it is a wonderful custom which to this day, is celebrated, not only here but in many Catholic countries.

May God bless all those souls that have gone before us and as I hold those in my family who have departed in my heart, I will raise a glass to them and an extra one to Richard who would have been eighty today, and give thanks for the memories.  Happy Birthday Richard as you watch over me and the family from your place in heaven. x

Sunday, June 20, 2021

Remembering a Wonderful Father.


Gerrard, J J
Oman Gendarmerie
Theatre of Combat or Operation:
Foreign to British-Oman
The Sultan's Distinguished Service Medal (Gallantry)


HER MAJESTY THE QUEEN has been graciously pleased to approve that the under-named be Mentioned in Despatches for Distinguished Services in South Arabia:

Captain (Quartermaster) John Joseph GERRARD, BEM (478467), Royal Corps of Signals.

Mentioned in Despatches several times

I would have to write a book to tell you about my father but what I can say in a few words is that he was a colourful character, a disciplinarian, an achiever,  never one to take 'no' for an answer, one not always easy to live up to,   compassionate, respected by his peers and loved by his family. So many words to describe this military, highly decorated man of many talents.  Hot tempered in youth, mellowed with age, adventurer, great conversationalist with a fantastic sense of humour.

My love of books and music was inherited from this multi-faceted man who had a permanent twinkle in his eye and a ferocious appetite for life.  He packed a great deal into his 65 years on this earth and on Father's Day as every day, almost 34 years after his death I still miss him terribly.  Gone too early because a medical condition was not detected during a compulsory, annual company medical.

I imagine him in heaven, book in hand listening to maybe Lehar, Shirley Bassey, Tchaikovsky, Tom Jones, The Sand Pipers or Verdi with my mother at his side and his forever faithful Golden Labrador at his feet.

I will raise a glass to you today Daddy and remember the laughter, the love, the reprimands (yes there were reprimands when my best was not good enough!) the encouragement, the debates, the heated discussions,  and the time we did spend together as we got to know each other and came to understand one another over the 65 years of a wonderful if at times trying, father and daughter relationship.

Thursday, November 5, 2020

A Seventy Fourth Wedding Anniversary


On the 5 November 1946, a 25-year British soldier and his 21-year Austrian fianceé were married in the Klagenfurt Cathedral in Klagenfurt am Wӧrthersee which is the capital of the federal state of  Carinthia in Austria.

The young soldier had made his way up to Austria with his battalion,  through Italy from Africa where he had served with Montgomery at El Alamein.

This story however is not about WWII but about what happened when this young man, at the time engaged to a 'good Catholic Irish girl' back home met and fell in love with a 'good Catholic Austrian girl' when he was based in Klagenfurt.   I suppose one can picture the scene - post-war, now allied occupied Austria.  Soldiers relieved that the battle was not only over but won.  Young women once again wearing their dancing shoes although some like the 21-year-old had spent much of the war training in dentistry, playing on the ski slopes, refusing to join the Hitler youth movement and being questioned by Nazi interrogators because of that and because her best friend's boyfriend, a ski instructor was suspected of being a spy.

So it was in post-war Austria in 1945.  The soldier and the would-be dentist met at a dance.  She went with someone named Bill, left with someone named John and from that time they were inseparable.  The proposal came very quickly and one has to wonder whether the young woman who came from a completely different culture  knew or understood what she was letting herself in for when the words "you have to understand I will always be a soldier first" came on the heels of  "will you marry me?" ! She learned, learned very fast  and to her credit never wavered, understood she was an army wife, was as much of the army as he was and in later years with every medal that was awarded, was always told that she was the one who earned it.

But theirs was not an easy path to marriage.   Breaking off the engagement with the 'girl at home' was the least of their worries. Both families were horrified.  The English/Irish side because the already decorated,  favourite son of the soil was marrying the 'enemy' and the Austrian side because the much loved youngest daughter was marrying one of those responsible for killing her father and her youngest brother.  To be fair, the girl's mother was not phased but her late husband's family cut her and her remaining children off.  They remained estranged for almost forty years.

To add to family complications, the army wasn't too happy either!  Post-war one couldn't just go off and marry a foreigner who had been the enemy. Applications had to be made, background checks done (like there hadn't been enough of those by Nazi intelligence!), red tape gone through and permission granted.

The couple persevered, jumped all the hurdles, dodged the obstacles, and eventually as I said at the beginning, married on the 5 November 1946.  Their daughter was baptized the following year in the same Cathedral. 

Had my parents lived today they would be celebrating their 74th Wedding Anniversary.  They had an incredible journey together until Daddy died after an extremely short illness in 1986.  He fell ill whilst they were having lunch in celebration of their 40th Wedding Anniversary and five weeks later he went home.  Mummy followed him 17 years later.

During their marriage they experienced much. Who would have thought that a young English/Irish teen who added a year onto his age to be able to join the army and a carefree young Austrian girl who spent her leisure time on the ski slopes, the ice rink, and in summer swimming in the beautiful waters of the  Wӧrthersee, would end up together?  Living in far off lands that some could only dream of, living and surviving in danger spots such as Singapore and Aden,   being in the Middle East before the oil, having their ups and downs like any other couple, dining with Royalty and eventually retiring to Cyprus where their time together was spent renovating and transforming the Greek Orthodox priest's old house (he lived upstairs and the donkey downstairs)  into a beautiful home in which sadly, when finished, they did not have enough time together.

So today I raise my glass to my parents - a toast to their memory and to their story only a little of which I have shared.  I am sure they are together,  smiling from heaven, glasses in hands as they clink my glass, and Daddy with a twinkle in his eye looks at me and says  "Cheers darling! Happy days!'. 

Sunday, April 26, 2020

Our House - A Light Bulb Moment!

Our House - Light Bulb Moment!
Apart from the hose detaching itself from the vacuum cleaner this morning, it was an uneventful weekend. That was, until about an hour ago when I tried to turn on the standard lamp and nothing happened. Dammit! After several attempts of fiddling with the switch, turned the lamp on its side (of course it's taller than I am!) unscrewed the bulb thinking 'well that didn't last very long!) put it to my ear and shook it. The usual sound that tells you that it's dead, didn't happen. 'Oh lawd' she thought 'it's the wire running up/down the inside of the casing.

Goes to find a bulb and only has 75 watts and this contraption takes a 60 watt. Never mind, that will do for this evening! Inserts bulb into lamp socket, upends lamp and turns the switch. Nada!! Huh! And I thought this was a good buy! Ponders - now what? Stares at floor and suddenly a real light bulb moment! Plug at the end of the cord is not plugged into the wall socket! Why? Because the blue tooth speaker is being charged in the socket where the lamp plug would normally be!! Shakes head and thinks 'you've lost all of your brain cells'!! 60 watt bulb restored and back in business!


PS: mentioning the vacuum cleaner reminded me of a conversation many years ago with my husband:
Me: I have to hoover.
Husband: No, you have to vacuum. Hoover is a brand name.
Me sarcastically: So tell me, why do you call tissues Kleenex?

Thursday, April 23, 2020

Our House - My Day Was Made!

I was more than amused!

Yesterday morning much against my will, I had to break my lockdown of weeks (since 19 March!) and go to the bank. I was somewhat apprehensive. So donning my compulsory mask, I went before it opened, to Republic, West Mall. For anyone who knows the Mall, I found myself at the end of a line that went back further than Wonderful World!! A lady came by saying before she stormed off, how ridiculous this was as the first hour (10 am till 11) is reserved for senior citizens. My son came towards me and said he would bring me up to date. He then called me saying that a lady from the bank was walking down the line, to stay put and she would eventually get to me. I saw her in the distance and she was pulling people out of the line obviously directing them elsewhere. So I waited as she neared me but hey ho, she got to me and walked straight on!
Me: Excuse me, are you looking for senior citizens?
Her walking back to me: Yes.
Me: Well, I'm a senior ........
Her: Really?
Me: Yes.
Her: Oh! Really?
Me: Yes!
Told me where to go.....
I was in and out of the bank in less than seven minutes.
Going back to car, I told my son what had happened.
Him: Not surprised. I thought that would happen!

Made my day!! 😁😁

Sunday, April 19, 2020

Our House - Disaster in the Kitchen!

I hope what just happened to me isn't going to be the setting for the coming week!! I just opened the oven door to add the marinated chicken breast to the baking potato, when one side of the handle dropped down and as I was looking for the screw to put it back together, the same happened to the other side of the handle. The entire handle landed on the floor and the door flew open! Still can't find the screws to put it back together. The door is now propped up with a kitchen stool and so it's going to now be pan-seared chicken with sauteed parsley potatoes!! That is when the heat from the oven dies down. Pours glass of wine! Geez! 

You gotta laugh!   

I did say to dear friend Jacqui Binford-Bell last week that the 'Our House' series was not dead! Not by a long way!!
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