I know, I know! I've been remiss of late. I don't or rather haven't written as I used to. I could give a million reasons but there's no point.
For those who have been with me for years, the above picture will be familiar. I have used it on several occasions when writing about a disturbed spirit, depression, an inability to focus, dramas ahead and the like. In fact, it is one of my favourite pics and one day I fully expect someone to contact me and tell me that I cannot use it as it belongs to him/her. Bit like the cake! I found a picture on Google of a beautiful cake and used it when writing a humorous piece on how to bake a Christmas cake. After a couple of years the owner of the picture contacted me asking me to remove it as every time the cake was Googled, the searcher ended up on my page instead of hers. I was mortified, couldn't stop apologizing and could quite understand why she would be pissed off. Hers is a serious foodie page - mine a mish-mash of good, evil, fun and sometime in the past when my heart and soul was into blogging, terribly, terribly serious subjects.
However, I digress - which of course is my wont.
The past three days have seen that black cloud hanging around. Yesterday morning it had me in tears. (Daughter: "did you take your happy pills?") even though the evening before I attended my first ever Taizé event after which I was supposed to be uplifted. That's an entirely different blog. Not the supposed upliftment, but the event. And because I copied and pasted Taizé from its site, I now have a white background which I cannot get rid of!
So this morning there I was in my 'second' office when a girlfriend arrived to do some business. She took one look at me and asked me what on earth was wrong. Was it really showing?? I'm normally excellent with the mask that hides the pain. She didn't wait for an answer (I would have lied anyway!) and said "'You need chocolate. Dark chocolate!". I said if she had some on her I would have a piece to which she said, "if I had some on me, there wouldn't be any". That figures! I haven't eaten chocolate for weeks, and weeks and weeks........not since an ever-so-slightly-over-the-acceptable bad cholesterol count was discovered. At this point I do not want to see another almond or oat for a long time!
Friend, after talking about a possible sugar drop left, ensuring I was serious when I said I didn't want chocolate. I continued to go through the motions of every day business. It was as though I was on autopilot.
Ten minutes later friend returns smiling, throws a black bag at me as she says 'never tell me what not to do'. I took out a bar of Hershey's Special Dark Chocolate and suddenly it was imperative that I ate it.
I did actually hold off for a while - at least until she had gone and then had the first piece. The bar of 190 calories actually lasted until after lunch.
I am aware that it's said that there are tremendous health benefits in dark chocolate which supposedly include lowering the likelihood of heart attacks/strokes/blood inflammation/diabetes and of all things on an even more positive note, improves the skin. Forget the acne. That was a myth. Flavonoids found in dark chocolate protect the skin from the sun's UV rays. So they say.
So all in all, given the pluses of the chocolate and red wine, I should be feeling great. I'm not. The cloud is still there. Perhaps it really is because I am out of chocolate and only have white wine in the house!
Today is Emancipation Day here in Trinidad and Tobago. I normally write a blog on it but having written several over the years, I won't again this year as the story does not change. If anyone is interested enough and wants to read the history of the day which is now a Public Holiday, you can refer to my post of Emancipation Day 2011 by following this link:
I found a find In a dusty shop Among the possessions Of victims' tears Someone, somewhere Lost all they owned When bailiffs came Stripping them bare Here's a photograph Dark lacquer coated Pressed on melainotype Cast into time