Sunday, December 14, 2014

I Lit a Candle Today.....

Twenty eight years ago today, the 13 December 1986, you left us and life has  never been quite the same.  It was unexpected and I was very, very  angry.  Angry with God that He had taken you home.  Angry because my daughter was only six months old and would not know you.  Angry because my eight year old son who idolized you was devastated. Angry because your wife, my mother had no idea of how to cope without you.  Angry because my husband lost who he considered, was his best friend.  Angry because you went two weeks short of of my fortieth birthday.  Angry because you were so full of life, had a sparkle that so few possessed and  had a love for life that was all consuming. We were not ready.

I now understand why thirty years after your mother's untimely death, you would cry.  

I lit a candle for you today and prayed that you are at peace, reunited with  with your wife, my Mummy and that next year the emptiness for me, will have eased slightly.

I wrote the following post last
year and even now, so many years on, every year seems like it was only yesterday.

Twenty seven years ago today Daddy went home. It was unexpected and a tremendous shock to us as a family and all who knew him.  The pain never really goes away.  Today I raise my glass to a great man -a no nonsense man who had amazing charisma, a great sense of humour, did not suffer fools gladly, who under a strict tutelage helped make me the person I am today and who was a mentor to many.

This photo was taken in the early 60s  in Germany when his regiment was on exercise  (playing war games), probably with the thought that taking over Berlin was not beyond the realms of possibility at the time!  Here he is having a drink with those he commanded.  He looks terribly relaxed but anyone who knew him, knew that he was so sharp, nothing would escape him.  He could talk with Queens and the men under him, inspire from afar and indeed there are still people  around today, who say they are where they are today because of him. He left us far too soon.  

And because this photo was taken in Germany, I say "Prost!  -ein Toast!" .  To you my darling Daddy. 


  1. The saying is time eases the pain, it does not when memory bites you in the bum.

    Take care my sweet.

  2. In tears. So beautifully written. It is not easy to capture the pain of the loss of a beloved parent. Splendid job.

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  4. I am sure he's watching over you as your guardian angel.
    Loss of a parent is really tough. Still trying to cope with my mom's loss...
    Take care.
    All will be well.
    Merry Christmas to you & your family! :)

  5. Some dads are so special..., mine was that kind too and I am sure he is taking care of me from heaven, every day, every second of my life.
    Thanks for sharing your feelings in such a beautiful way.
    A hug. :)


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